The question “what are you looking for in a relationship partner?” may seem like an easy one to answer. Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. But here are other things to look out for.
1. Emotional Maturity
Every person comes equipped with flaws and emotional baggage. Seeking perfection is an idle search. Instead, what you should look for in a partner is emotional maturity. This means someone who is willing to think and learn about themselves, who is open to reflecting on the past and evolving in the present. This certain someone should be non-reactive, in the sense that they think before they act.
Along with emotional maturity, one of the things to look for in a partner is an openness to feedback. Not only should your partner be interested in changing his or her own self-limiting behaviors, but he or she should be open to hearing what you have to say. Open and honest communication is vital to sustaining a close relationship. When a person puts up a wall that says, “I am unwilling to listen and unwilling to change,” there is really little room for growth on both your parts.
While deception is generally frowned upon, lying is sadly common in many relationships. Some couples believe they need lies to survive, yet research shows that lying less is linked to better relationships. Being able to trust is so important when choosing a life partner.
4. Respectful and Sensitive
One of the most valuable qualities to look for in a partner is respect. When you find someone who encourages you to be yourself, you can feel secure in your relationship, yet independent within yourself. It’s easy to feel loved when someone encourages you to do what lights you up and makes you happy.